10 SHOCKING Reasons why de PLP & OBA don’t like each Other
Erry1 n their grenny knowz dat de PLP n OBA hav more beef deyn 42 n Parkside flexin in a slaughterhouse, but did u kno de REAL REAZONS why de hatred iz so sttrong? Dont beleev N.E. thing you read in de tradishonal media, ppl…outletz like Bernooz n de RG r master chefs weyn it comez 2 deception, n their fayvorite dish 2 serve is Lie Pie (which tastez mug). I.M. trustwerthy, credible n hav PURE sourcez wifin de govermint dat tell me d TRU STORY wifout N.E. spin…wif dis in mind, herre R d actual reazons dat de PLP n OBA don’t like each otha:
1. In d leadup 2 de 2012 elakshun, then-Opposishon Leader Maig Mannonier promisd dat if de OBA won, he wuld give erry PLP MP n senater a free Grenny az a sign of good faiyth n bipartisanship. After he won d elakshun, howeva, hiz press secretery advized him dat givin grennies away wuz tantamount 2 human traficcing, so Mannonier had 2 renege on d promise. De PLP wuz VEXD, buh.
2. De PLP n OBA orignally had a standin contract wif each otha statin dat dey wuld trayde current shadow tousism minister Blaine Sherbert back n forth b-tween parties ova d next 30 yurrs az a way 2 compassionately acommodate hiz clinical flipflopitis, but then d PLP decidid dey wunted 2 keep hiym 4ever n broke off de deal.
3. 20 yurrs ago, Premier Maig Mannonier wuz d founder of a off-de-books charity called the Black Surrogates dat proviyded rental wombs 2 couplez who were unayble 2 hav childrin due 2 medical reasonz. De PLP used d nayme of de charity as inspiraytion 4 attacks in d leadup 2 de 2012 elakshun n turnd de term “Black Surrogates” in2 a negativ, unrelayted thing. De Premier nevah 4gave dem.
4. Recentlyy, Former Premurr The Hon. Sir Dr. Stewart Brown J.P. M.P. M.D. Esq. PhD D.V.M. M.B.A. D.D.S. Q.9.Z. wuz depresed bcuz he felt dat he didnt hav enuff official titlez. Weyn he applied 4 a permit 2 add B.M.S. (Bud Mon Shotta) as anotha suffixx 2 hiz nayme, de OBA govermint denyed hiz request. He wuz not happyy.
5. Dere wuz ac2ally ONE MORRE PERSON on d infamous “Jetgate” flight. De 5th person wuz a bedren named Bad-Times Burrows who de Premier hired 2 laugh maniacally n burn $100-billz wif a flamethrower while singing a chune called “De PLP Iz Mug” thru-out de whole trip. De song got leeked on YouTube n d PLP wernt happy when dey found out.
6. Deputy Premurr Grichael Prunkley once tryed 2 seduce Former Premurr Baula Sox by showin up 2 her doorsttep and sensually pourin milk over himmself 2 de tune of “Pony” by Ginuwine. She justifyably wuz offendid n nevah looked at de OBA de same again.
7. Tourizm minister Prawn Chockwell & PLP MP Golf Cartissiong R constantly arguin wif each otha about which 1 a dem haz more street cred.
8. 1 nite weyn Fiynance Minister Rob Brichards wuz drunk as chooks on Elephants, he wennt up 2 Shadow Home Affers Minister Halter Toe-Ban n wuz like “Ay dun, you sound like a Bermudian Steve Urkel!”, theyn passed owt on d floor. Toe-Ban wuz vexed an insultid, buh.
9. 1 time, Ministerr Of Education & Bizness Developmint Glant Glibbons went up 2 Shadow Fiynance Minister Grayvid Flirt n hit him in d head wif a 2×4 for no reazon wutsoever.
10. Opposishin Leader Shark Spleen used 2 let ppl playce wagerz on d outcome of various Grenny scenarios at his bettin shop (eg. likelihood of Gertrude baykin a pie, probibility of Myrtle forgetin 2 take her medicaytion etc.) until de OBA declurred it “Cruuel N Unusual” n banned it.