11 Beachfest Tips for Tourists from Bermudians
by Team Bermemes
- Know ya gamplan buh
“Sleep on the beach the night before… You’ll have your pick of spots and your car(trans) will be parked close by, plus ya sleeping on the beach! – Kristing white
“Get there nice and early and set up a good spot!” – Spring Flower
One ding we byes love about Beachfest is de night before flexing dahn de beach… just nuff good vibes and you ank gotta wake up like 530 am to try and set up ya set for de day… like who wants to do alla dat?
- On Driving
“Don’t drive, get someone to drop you & pick you up.” Carly Lodge
Why waste gas like?
- On Bermewjan Hospitality
“Find a tent…for shelter and hospitable booze.” – jasmine Patterson
- Sunblock or Sunburn
You betta reapply that sublock before you start looking like de swizzle ya drinking…
- On Beachfest Newbies
“To the beach fest newbies – EAT!!! Sun and Swizzle ain’t for the faint of heart.” – Melissa Donae
Plain and simple buh! De sun is a killa and if you ank got nuffin solid in de tank ya gonna be spending nuff time huggin up de sand
- In fact, remember to drink…
“Water, water, water!” – Aruna Dismont
Unless you’re a Cupmatch Veteran cuz then it’s…
“Swizzle swizzle swizzle and more swizzle! – Brandon Fleming
Balance is key when she comes to beachfest….
- Een more about drinking…
“Pace yourself in all regards. This holiday is a marathon, not a sprint.” – Susan Thomas
“Don’t give booze to de youts.” – Carly Lodge
Ya buh, two valid points buh… she’s only day 1, take it easy on de throttle! But ya def don’t give de smallies any lix. No body ank tryna spend de holiday behind bars.
- Rubbers are your friend
“Don’t have sex in front of the security cameras or on the cut path…. everyone can see you.” – Carly
Unless that’s wha you byes are into…
- On Using de Baffroom
“Bring TP (toilet paper) cuz those bathrooms are a joke. Or make a friend who lives by the beach.” – Aruna Dismont
Also, please don’t drop a log in de water…. we have nuff greaseballs showing up
10. Drunk Proof your Valuables
“I like to put my key on a necklace. Waterproof floatie case for the phone or leave it behind!” – Hannah Collins
“Get a lanyard with a small pouch! Preferably waterproof. Put your essentials in there – id, money/card, and cell, bike/house key. Hopefully around your neck is drunk proof” – Aruna Dismont
“Don’t leave your clothes behind (I’m always amazed how many people come back on Friday and say they left the beach with nothing.” – Carly Lodge
One ding…. de day after beachfest she’s like a treasure trove. We know ya tryna look sporty and all fa de dings dahn durr, but if you ank tryna lose ya $400 shades, then leave it at home
11. Leave with ya dignity – Susan Thomas
You sure you wanna be 2014’s poster boy of BERMEMES?