Dings ah Bermudian Wa ALWAYS Do When in Foreign
You ank gotta tell guys twice bout rock fever, cuz 99.999.5% of Bermudians AWREDDYKNOW! - we all jus HAV TO get off de rock at some point buh… Een if ya gotta take ah poor mans vacation and swim out to Darrell’s island fa ah week. Caunt’een say go camping cuz errywun knows Bermudians are glampers.
First dings first, Spot de odda Bermudianns at de Airport
Nah it dont matter if you at LF or inna foreign airport and it dun’een matter if ya neva seen each odda before or what parish ya from - Bermudians jus like to mingle wif other Bermudians abroad.
“Eh-ehhn you lots headed Disneyland too?
We byes going too!
We sha go together on so n so’s day.”
And if dat ank enough, we always end upLinking up wif other Bemudians
Ya bredrin out dea studying in school? Got some family you only holla at a month before going foreign? This one’s for you cuz you know guys gon link up, use ya house/apt, a food and ya car instead of ah paying dat extra $ for a rental and we ca save for shopping.
But if we do get a rental...
“Is dis de right side of de road?” “Nah men guys don’t need de GPS um been hur like FIVE TIMES Don! “Men hook up de GPS aweddy i don’t remember this place! Nah mind i know dis stachew!” “Oh flip almost forgot! Lemme take a quick pic wif de most regular american rental car and send it to moms at home”
Speaking of cars…
Erry Bermudian gotta take a pic of or wif ah car you ank ever seen anywhere but on tv. Double points if you pretend you rented de Lambo
“Ay don, you saw dat Squirrel?”
Or this… depending on time of year
“Ay don, you see dis snow?”
And you know if ya been away ya onna Fast Food Binge
No matta if ya got a weekend trip or two weeks. Those days are spent cramming as much American junk food you can… even until de last few minutes before de plane - we lot can’t get at home
And don’t forget de Shopping Spree
Erryding cheaper, but we all know ya gotta budget de trip, so you spread out de shops over de dayz!
One Word… Walmart (or Target)
Nah we gotta say, this somewha differs from de shopping spree above. You see… Bermudians (if away for a week) will visit de Walmart 2-3 times. De first time is to size up de place and buy dings for whurreva ya staying. De 2nd time is still sizing up/ minor pickups, but de 3rd and last time is saved fa de lat day of ya vacation whurr she’s like “Ay, umma need shree carts” wif ya aunty holding de main, and cousins take de other two, utilizing de shree carts in some tactical swat team like shopping because at dis point, you know whurr erryding you need is and ya to buy list is shattered quicker than Usain Bolt onna good day.
Oh and ya… Walmart = de basics… you know men, undies, socks, some new baffroom towels and bed sheets… truss we know
Last Hoarder Haul
Dun’een think we needa explain dis wun hurr, but since we have to. Dis is whurr you try and buy whatever fast food, magazines, drinks or anyding in de airport that you can fit in ya carry on. Cuz ank no one in bermy fussy over a cold big mac don!